A need to be filled...

Like most of us have heard, "necessity is the mother of all invention." That's how this started. But first... I became a Dad.

All in. That's the best way to describe my take on becoming a first time father. I was a fair bit older than most to start a family. Maybe that was a part of it. But, there was no denying that I fell in love with being Grace's dad. I was that true-to-life cliche and smitten with it all. 

So it was devastating to be faced with a sudden divorce and the prospect of being a single father. Grace was still a toddler and it had never crossed my mind that there would be a time when I wouldn't see her every day. That was suddenly traumatic to me and a really difficult time. I scoured the Internet, and behold, there was a trove of really great information on how to be a good single Dad. I bookmarked articles, read parenting blogs, and felt fairly confident I was ready. I just needed the time with Grace. 

The following phrase, "long and expensive court battle," is laughably too easy to type.  But it was long... and expensive... and heartbreaking. Without the support of my family and now wife Jana, I'm not sure I would have been able to get the nearly 36% of time I ended being awarded. (It was an out-of-state situation... again, long and expensive.) 

It was worth every penny and heartache. 

Simultaneous with the custody battle for Grace, I was still seeking out things to do with her when she was with me. It was disheartening to see that there were only a few seasonal dances set aside for the father/daughter dynamic while numerous "mommy and me" options. (This is a good place to let you know...  we love moms and are thrilled there are so many options for you!) I actually phoned a couple of those event coordinators who said men were welcome as well but "may feel out of place" as one put it. It was around that time when...

The custody case didn't rule in my favor. I received that news in a way that introduced me to a level of depression I did not know was inside of me. So, I decided to "put pain into purpose."  Daddy Daughter Time became a huge focus of mine. We held more events. More Dads and daughters were coming. But that caused a budgetary problem. We couldn't keep the events free of charge. So, we introduced an annual membership program that was extremely underpriced with the hopes that donors and support would come to fill in the gap. Soon after, we became an official 501c3 entity. 

That really worked. Pre-pandemic tallies were seeing over 200 guests at each event and we enjoyed solid annual growth. But COVID really took our legs out and while we're still back doing what we love, we've lost a lot of the growth and momentum we previously had. 

What started over a decade ago because one Dad needed something to do with his daughter has blossomed into an organization with hundreds of Dads with hours of time spent together with their daughters. 

This year, I faced the agonizing loss of my daughter to cancer. She was 14 years old. And while this tragedy is a pain far greater than losing a custody battle, I aim to once more turn "pain into purpose." Daddy Daughter Time is synonymous with my daughter Grace in my head. I hope that what we started together lives on and is a lasting tribute to my daughter. 

Thank you for taking the time to read the more personal side of our story. 

Sincerely, 

​Todd